


Is this the apocalypse?

by Little_wolf3



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: My kind of humor.....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28618839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_wolf3/pseuds/Little_wolf3
Summary: Everything starts when Hope just promises Josie that she will make her breakfast.Josie refuses, saying it's too dangerous for a reason Hope doesn't know....Is Lizzie secretly a monster? Does the kitchen want her dead? What's going on?The rest goes totally crazy. (Literally!!)I'm not lying to you if I tell you that I'm totally sleep-deprived.....
Relationships: Caroline Forbes & Lizzie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson & Lizzie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman, Josie Saltzman & Lizzie Saltzman
Kudos: 15





	Is this the apocalypse?

**Author's Note:**

> I tried it in English I really don't know what it will be like.... It's not my first language so sorry if there are any mistakes....
> 
> Anyway, have a good read.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the girl asks, looking at her friend as if she had just told her she was going to buy a whale or something huge.

"Yes I'm sure...why are you so suspicious?" the other older girl asks looking at her suspiciously. "Don't you trust me?" she suddenly asks offended...

Josie laughs as she sees that Hope is offended by her insecurity and gives her a delicate and caring smile, supposed to prove that she trusts her.

"Hope.....you know I trust you more than my own father...." Josie confesses to her and takes her in her arms to reassure her.

Hope looks at her confused and then remembers......

_It was a Monday morning (which is actually today), the school was quiet, Alaric Saltzman, a former vampire hunter (who once became a vampire himself...which is quite convulsive though) was walking around the halls of his school and admiring his work._

_He was quite proud of it and liked to talk about his students to his friends....(especially women...)_

_Everything was going perfectly well until..._

_There, at the other end of the hallway,_

_Two young people who were laughing find themselves face to face with Alyssa Chang, put in a bad mood because of......of nothing...she is never in a good mood or almost..._

_Anyway, Alyssa looked at the two young students in panic..._

_Alaric challenged the girl and gave her one of his famous looks to make her understand that she must stop and that he is the Sheriff of this town._

_Alyssa turned to the old man and looked at him armed with her killer look, would she defy him?_

_The hunter's ego is touched and he feels the need to put this young student in his place....._

_He puts his hand on his ultimate weapon (a phone with Caroline's number in case things go wrong) and squints when there's not even a need but just for fun._

_A light wind is blowing down the corridor between them and sand on the ground (dust from the carpets) and dry desert bushes (paper pellets I guess) roll between his eyes..... marking the beginning of the fight in the hostile terrain that is corridor 4B...._

_The two frightened students had called the entire school to watch the fight, which was going to be very eventful...._

_The two Sheriff's daughters were also there in the audience watching their pair clowning around, sorry, and keeping order._

_The old Sheriff was very patient, but much less so than the provocative young girl in front of him._

_Alyssa put her hand on her gun, resting it on her hip (a banana she put in her pocket for the occasion, which was quickly given to her for the picture)._

_The Sheriff did not get scared, "it's only a banana" he said to reassure himself "I have a phone.....the phone!"._

_"Yes, old man, but by the time you dial his number, I would have already shot you three rounds," the girl replies._

_"Shit, did I talk out loud?" Alaric asks, he really didn't know he was talking out loud and the whole audience understands him and starts giggling but not too loudly...._

_The fight of the glances continues and Alaric falls back on his paws, elegant as a cat._

_"No! Because I've already pre-recorded his number....." He points to his phone and says he turns it on, displaying the vampire's number._

_Alyssa takes a step backwards and draws his banana (a truly fatal weapon), pointing it at the man who had already drawn it._

_Attack position, the air bearings in the corridor (yes because don't ask me why but there's a lot of draught ok?) make their hair move in slow motion, blurring their vision for a few seconds each time._

_Precious seconds that the opponent can use to shoot a ball, banana puck or anything....really...._

_The trick is to not lose eye contact...._

_Alyssa eats part of her hair when there is a big burst but a student (witch) supports her and keeps her hair from entering her vision (but unfortunately not in her mouth so she still tastes her shampoo which is not so bad tasting after all)._

_After several minutes like that, Lizzie sighs loudly and ruins the scene._

_Her sister shushes her and gives her some popcorn (which comes from I don't know where) in her mouth to make her stop sighing...._

_It's an epic scene! Shit!_

_Suddenly!_

_A student violently hits a wal, which attracts the attention of the Sheriff (whose first mission is to protect his citizens from all dangers, including the new walls we put up yesterday)._

_The old man looks away and quickly realizes his mistake, Alyssa pulls out her banana, which she casts with a spell, and crashes into the Sheriff's face...... devastated by such an easy defeat....._

_"It's not fair Wane hit a wall! .... It distracted me!" Alaric protests, swearing that his defeat is not fair._

_"My name is Wade!" Wade protests really offended._

_The two fighters don't care and Mg gives him a little smile to help him get better._

_Wade give up...._

_Alaric is a pretty bad loser and keeps protesting and asking for revenge but Alyssa doesn't have that idea in mind and eats the rest of her banana in front of him and tells him._

_"The fight's over old man, you have to face it, this school needs a new sheriff....and.....you know what......" she asks him, leaning over and provoking him further "It turns out it's me now....." she says laughing and drops the skin of her gun on the floor._

_"Banana won!" shouts a voice in the audience as she follows the new queen to go and celebrate this totally improvised victory....._

_Alaric is nothing more._

_His daughters approach him, one is disappointed, the other is completely dumped and wonders how old he really is._

_"How could you lose daddy?" Josie asks really disappointed of him._

_He doesn't dare look at her and kicks her to the ground, disgruntled like a child who has just had his favorite toy confiscated._

_"No, but how old are you?" Lizzie asks completely on the verge of a nervous breakdown._

_Josie calms her down and tries to get her father back to a normal age._

_Hope picks up the phone on the ground, the fallen fighter's lost weapon....._

_"Hope what are you...." the man was about to ask._

_The girl picked up an apple and threw it hard enough (but not too hard) to hit the head of the new queen who collapsed to the ground from the shock._

_Everyone looks at her a little scared, she makes the apple come back to her and then bites into it before she realizes it was a fake._

_She chews it anyway, honor must be saved and it can't end like that!_

_She turns around and lets her victorious look leave her face and replaces it with that of deep disgust...._

_"Was that a fake?" Lizzie guesses as she rubs her head as if to calm herself._

_Hope spits in a plant pot and runs to get a glass of water._

_Quickly!_

_How old are these people?" Lizzie wonders, on the verge of killing them all cause she is just...... so disappointed...._

_———————————————————————_

Hope remembers this.....

"You realize he lost a fight with a banana while carrying a deadly weapon...." Josie exclaims in retrospect..... she expected so much from him....

"It's like he lost to a kid with a slingshot when he had a rocket..." Hope whispers, unable to hide her laughter any longer.

Josie's gaze fuses...

Hope keeps quiet and keeps it for later.

"No but I seriously want to do this...." Hope continues to assure that she is sure of her decision but Josie is still suspicious.

"Are you sure...?" she asks again....just to be sure.....

"YES JOSIE I'M SURE!" Hope yells all over school to make sure her deaf girlfriend hears her this time and avoids asking a stupid question again.

"I'm asking because I don't want you to run away. ...." Josie confesses in dramatic tears.

Hope rolls her eyes and takes her in her arms and forces her to look at him.

"It's just making breakfast.... what could go wrong?" Hope seriously asks to be convinced that her girlfriend is definitely an actress now.

"'What could go wrong?' this could be the last sentence I hear from her before she disappears forever....." thinks Josie really dramatic now....

Lizzie walks into the room (her room actually) and sees the two young women.

She looks at her sister's dramatic look.

"Oh, ..... Is Hope planning on making you breakfast?" Lizzie asks directly, wondering if she should not start drinking something very strong?

Hope is confused.

"Uh...Liz, what's going on?" asks the slightly panicked tribride now.....is there a risk of dying for preparing a tray of food for her girlfriend? This is serious...can we die from this?

"Our father's pretty......" Lizzie is completely bored with the situation. "In short, He swore he was going to kill the next person who would make Josie breakfast because the last two times it happened she was heartbroken so....anyway...." the blondie explains as she drops herself on her bed.

Hope is relieved and seems to have an idea.

Josie tries to catch up with her and stop her from leaving, but the tribride has already passed the door.

Lizzie sighs at this situation completely, unnecessarily, ridiculous....

And now Josie is crying for the love of her life to go into a deadly fight.... so dramatic.....

After a few minutes......Hope comes back and pushes the door with a tray in his hands.

Josie thinks she is dreaming and throws herself into her arms so happy to see her alive.

(Yes there are many death threats in this school.... and all these threats are not to be taken lightly !!!! )

"How did you survive?" the bubbly girl asks, hugging her in front of Lizzie who just doesn't want to see it......

Hope tries to breathe into her girlfriend's embrace without really succeeding.

But she still manages to answer.

"I threatened to tell everyone that she's a big, bad loser baby so he let me pass...." the tribride confesses, pecking slightly at the girl's lips above her that holds her down much more firmly than she would have imagined.

Lizzie chokes and then screams.

"YOU'RE SO STUPID, HE'S GOING TO TELL EVERYONE YOU ATE A FAKE APPLE!" Lizzie explains and shouts out.

The two intrepid youngsters realize and rush downstairs to see that the damage has already been done.

All the students in the school look at Hope as they whisper in the hallways.

"Baby?" asks the slightly panicked brunette to see a big smile appear on her girlfriend's lips.

"Oh don't worry Josie, I wouldn't hurt him too much...." Hope reassures her.....even if it's not really reassuring for her.

Hope grabs two fake apples and throws one to the man in front of her laughing (he had to regain his popularity as sheriff, didn't he?).

"So....I'm curious....what did you say about me my old friend?" she asks with a mischievous look and a voice loud enough for everyone to hear her clearly.

So that everyone can see how much and how Hope MIkaelson will take her place back...

Alyssa is still angry at her for the apple in the back of her head but also seems angry at the sheriff.

"That you confused a real apple with a fake and ate it anyway so you wouldn't lose your honor!" Alaric tells with a big smile on his happy face.

He knows that she wouldn't bring herself down to his level by telling the truth about the baby bad loser.

There's a crack in the silence and the whole world realizes that Hope Mikaelson is really eating a fake apple. Like right now....

It takes a lot of courage but she has had the right parents for courage and comedy.....the play goes on and Mg is quite amazed that the students are almost on the verge of worshipping Hope just because she eats a fake foam apple without flinching.

Is that what it takes to be popular?

Alaric's face is decomposing, he didn't really expect that from her.

He would have preferred a good old-fashioned fight and not this?

Hope finishes his apple and points to the one he's holding in his hand.

"So old man?" She asks with the same defiant look as Alyssa, who wonders how Hope manages to survive.

Alaric cannot continue.

After having eaten a single small piece he gives up the game and lets Hope (future beautiful girl surely) reap the moment of glory.

Josie, who was biting her fingers with anxiety and almost fainted five times, jumped into the winner's arms and kissed her, completely ignoring the fact that Hope had just eaten moss.

Lizzie just stands there, disappointed in everything, completely bewildered and disgusted......

What's tomorrow going to be, a laser game in magic history class? Vampire skating rink? Scrabble for werewolves? Worse.....knitting course?

"What's going on here?" asks a voice that freezes everything in time.

"Mommy?" Lizzie asks as she turns to the silhouette in the doorway light.

The woman doesn't answer anything so Lizzie takes the opportunity to run into the arms of the last sane person on the planet and hugs her hard and then begs her.

"Please, the next time you go on a trip.... take me with you!" begs again and again until her mother wonders if she shouldn't take her daughter and get the hell out of here....

She knows she wants to when she notices that Alaric is dressed as a sheriff, that there are two cows in the garden (don't ask me...) and that her darling little girl, Josie, is dressed as a shiny unicorn and is hugging Hope who is eating a fake apple (yes, apparently she has gotten a taste for it. ...don't try that at home, I've tested it for the verisimilitude of the story and it's.....it's just not edible....definitely not!) and that Alyssa throws bananas to Sheriff Alaric who dodges them and throws back..... coins....?

She hugs her daughter and lures her out of school, gets in the car and promises her baby to stay away from school until they calm down.....

"Okay we're going..... far away....." Caroline decides by first checking her daughter's temperature and mental health to make sure she doesn't get infected.

This is not how she imagined the apocalypse.....not at all.....


End file.
